1 post tagged “widower”

Dear P

I read an article recently whose message you would applaud. At it's heart is the need to realise that life is not something that happens to you. It is one's own behaviour and the way that you look upon it that affects how you live. In order to improve your perception of life it advocates writing a daily gratitude list. Five kind acts that you have performed or have happened to you, during the day. It goes on, "A good life is made up of ordinary things. Be kind, be grateful and refuse to engage in negative thinking".  Despite my grief, I am fully aware that life must continue. The boys need looking after and will thus be relying on me. I must therefore be strong and will need to adopt strategies that are going to help me. However hard the task of finding five positives, a gratitude list appears a good place to start. 

In the afternoon I offered to collect Jack from school. He'd been playing in a chess tournament and it was convenient that he was on his own because I wanted to ask him whether he wants to go to your funeral. I would prefer that they don't and since Jack is the elder will apply his view to Tom.  My fear is that if they go they will find it too upsetting. But a bereavement councillor had advised that it might first be a good idea to give him a say. So that's what I did. Not surprisingly he gave a measured response. "Since I've seen her in the hospital and said my goodbye I don't feel I need to go".

I'm relieved.

Love

M